I have so many stories to tell.
None can take you back to me.
Last night, I dreamt of a maze;
the exit point was you.

There you were,
so near, yet so far,
babywearing a sick dog.

I felt its weight
and heard the silence of its howl.

Lately, when everything feels like nothing,
I make up a city in my mind:
sometimes it's warm,
sometimes it's cold.

We hug different friends
and kiss different lovers.
We tell new and old stories to anyone.

But I always know your address
when it's time to come home.

- Cristine A. D

In the next life,

‎I could be your mother, 

‎I'd give you your name and celebrate you

‎Even before the world does.

‎Be the first to soothe your wounds,

‎Hold your hands as you take your baby steps. 

‎

‎In the next life,

‎I could be your wife.

‎I'd make your coffee every morning,

‎And say a prayer for you each night.

‎I'd never say goodbye,

‎And I'd hold your hands till one of us dies.

‎

‎In the next life,

‎I could be your child.

‎I'd look up to you and grow into your footsteps. 

‎Maybe we'd share the same smile, 

‎Or same hazel eyes.  

‎I might hate your sermons but laugh at all your dad jokes.

‎

‎In the next life,

‎Will you leave a space to love me

‎If you don’t have it in this one?

* C.D, December 4, 2025

‎I went to the market and saw

‎something familiar and new.

‎They're called

‎strawberry apples,

‎And somehow they remind me of you.

‎

‎As I bite into its crispy flesh,

‎I tasted the delicate truth

‎You've bravely shared.

‎Sweet juicy thoughts came

‎over me:

‎Such loving God we have, 

‎Who hand-painted and gave life to

‎Strawberry apples and to you.

‎

- Cristine Despares

‎ 

I've been sailing solo

I still remember the day

you held my hand and told me, 

you can drive for eternity 

all I have to do is wrap my arms 

tighter around you.  

Going through this new route with you,

I've lost count of the stop signs we've ignored. 

Turning red lights to green, 

always choosing to make love win. 

I swear, I'll put a brake on my fast thoughts,

so my words won't crash and hit you.  

Do you know that I always believe in you?

You're the one I want my ma and pa to meet; that's also true. 

My lover, will you still drive with all the baggage I carry with me? 

What if I tell you that I left 

all the reasons to love me at a gas station? 

Will I be enough to hit the road with you? 

Twenty years from now, when I no longer look like the singer you adore, 

when I can't make you blush like a teenager with a crush anymore,  

Will love still be enough for you to drive me home?

 Delicate gypsophilas,

sensual rabbit tails and roses

turning to late afternoon café hues.

Seasons change;

just when I thought

everything around me is getting

old and cold,

I saw the beauty of beginnings

in dried things.

Cold was this year

but it brought me to

your warmth.

I longed and chased

a ghost - that was my biggest crime.

I remember you said

you're haunted by a phantom

while we're in an empty overpass.

I've met you

for only one season

which feels like a lifetime.

We were a pair of cocoa beans

hardened by the past,

but now the only darkness

I know is a cup of hot chocolate

when I'm with you.

Just when I decided

to be a plain cold brew,

I found the creamier side

of me in you.

No witty plots.

No dirty politics.

You make this love

look like a house

I could always go home to.

You make this love

feel like a hot chocolate

in an autumn day

I never knew.

10/18/'20

Cristine A. D