Anyway, here's a blog about what's been going on in my life lately because I love blogging, and I owe this to those who still open and read this blog despite me not being as active as I used to be.

Current Work

I'm currently working as a full-time content writer. I left the academe two years ago when things started doing better after the pandemic. I have to be honest; I don't want to be a teacher again, at least not yet. I miss connecting with my students, thinking of new ways to make young minds learn more, conceptualizing school activities, being as creative as possible, and attending school. I don't resent the time I've spent as a teacher, but I found that I am more suited to writing as I tend to like working alone much better.

The thing about writing for work, though, makes me feel not to write outside work. Still, I try to pursue other tasks that allow me to make use of my creativity. This includes editing videos and photos. I'm not great at it since I also lack the applications and knowledge to produce better outputs like them, but I enjoy doing them.

New Platform

One of the reasons Poetic Isolation was left out is because of Bloom Cebu, a platform I've created to specifically promote or share relevant information around my hometown, Cebu City. It enabled me to create various opportunities to learn and earn, but sometimes, most things I do for it feel like work, so I'm considering being active here again. I'm also thinking of producing more videos that are more personal than promotional. I don't have a specific niche in mind yet, but I'd like to record things that give me joy, just anything under the sun, really.

Goals, Failures, and Future Plans

I've failed in some areas, including my graduate studies and weight. The good thing, though, is I'm working on the latter. I'm back to lessening my carb intake as much as possible. It’s already two weeks since I had rice. I have tried doing keto in 2022 to lose weight, which I did, but I also find the diet unsustainable for the long term. Hence, what I'm doing now is to be as mindful as possible of my food intake. I’m also enjoying moving as much as I could. I hike, jog/run, do yoga, and workout indoors. I used to think I would never do these things, but I’m happy and proud of myself that I did.

I’m not getting any younger and I feel like I have to work and take care of my health as much as I could. This is one goal I no longer want to lose; a goal that I know would benefit me the most and my future self so wish me well on this one.

Now, my grad school. *deep sighs*

I passed the comprehensive examination (an examination you have to pass before being allowed to write your thesis). I summarized the topic I wanted for my graduate thesis in 2019. It's a shorter version of the first three chapters of my thesis, so my professors and thesis adviser will have a general idea of what my paper will be like once I finish it. The problem? I lose the drive to finish my whole thesis. Honestly, I don't have the gusto to finish the entire thing. It is pretty costly and takes so much time, but I might be just trying to find an excuse here. The bottom line is that I don't need to do my current work, and it doesn't have a direct benefit to my career. It won't be a small salary or get me promoted. It's more about fulfilling my folks' aspirations for my siblings and me to proceed in grad school and, basically, bragging rights.

For now, I can't tell you if I'd ever want to return to the university and finish my paper soon. No one's bugging me about this, but something inside me feels disappointed that I didn't finish everything. I feel like I've wasted my time (years) studying, only for it to end in nothing. I don't know. I don't have the answer to this dilemma at this moment.

Heartbreak - Moving On *deeper sighs*

This summer, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. It wasn't my first heartbreak, nor was he my first boyfriend, but our separation hit me a lot. It's been months since we stopped communicating, and while I don't want us back together, I can still feel the echo of losing him. I fell in love with him and thought of building a future and a family together with him, but now I am sure that moving on and accepting things as they are now are the best options I have in matters of the heart.

I have many questions, and my heart doesn't feel at peace sometimes as I try to understand how we ended. I'm thirty, and the pressure of finding a husband and building a family gets me sometimes. (Yep, this happens if you live in the Philippines and have nosy relatives and people in general!) I know I am an independent woman who has found success in my way, but like many others, I want to find someone I can love for the rest of my life, too.

I'm not closing my heart to possible love affairs, and I hope it will be forever the next time I fall in love again. I’m deeply hurt by our breakup, but I learned a lot from our relationship. I have a better picture or what I want now, my boundaries, and myself. To be honest, I have not moved on completely yet, but I’m giving myself time to recollect. It’s not an easy journey. It takes a lot on my emotionally and mentally, but I’m taking my time now to improve myself. I’m taking each day one at a time and I try to complete each with a grateful heart. I may have been broken, but I’m alive and the world is still a beautiful place to live in. The flowers still bloom and my mother still makes her best dishes for our family. Life is still beautiful.

‘Til then. Cheers to more beautiful days ahead!

Love lots,

Tin